Of terms & terminology

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower...

College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing girls.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic: A book, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: - A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: - A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: - The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: - An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser: - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: - A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: - A guy no different from the rest of us. Except that he got caught.

Boss: - Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: - One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

(Offline Humor, Volume 1, No 3, October 2006)