DORMITORY:When you rearrange the letters:DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER
DESPERATION:When you rearrange the letters:A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:When you rearrange the letters:THEY SEE
THE MORSE CODE:When you rearrange the letters:HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:When you rearrange the letters:CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:When you rearrange the letters:LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW:When you rearrange the letters:WOMAN HITLER
A DECIMAL POINT:When you rearrange the letters:IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:When you rearrange the letters:THAT QUEER SHAKE
(Offline Humor, Volume 1, No 3, October 2006, Sent by Rajesh Poddar)
Material World Group is Eastern India's emerging knowledge group. Material World through its knowledge aims at resolving man (human) and materials resource issues of those availing its services.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Of terms & terminology
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower...
College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing girls.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Classic: A book, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: - A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: - A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: - The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: - An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser: - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: - A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: - A guy no different from the rest of us. Except that he got caught.
Boss: - Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: - One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
(Offline Humor, Volume 1, No 3, October 2006)
College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing girls.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Classic: A book, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: - A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: - A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: - The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: - An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser: - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: - A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: - A guy no different from the rest of us. Except that he got caught.
Boss: - Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: - One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
(Offline Humor, Volume 1, No 3, October 2006)
Monkey Business
There was an interesting experiment that started with five monkeys in a cage. A banana hung inside the cage with a set of steps placed underneath it. After a while, a monkey went to the steps and started to climb towards the banana, but when he touched the steps, he set off a spray that soaked all the other monkeys with cold water. Another monkey tried to reach the banana with the same result. It didn't take long for the monkeys to learn that the best way to stay dry was to prevent any monkey from attempting to reach the banana.
The next stage of the experiment was to remove the spray from the cage and to replace one of the monkeys with a new one. Of course, the new monkey saw the banana and went over to climb the steps. To his horror, the other monkeys attacked him. After another attempt, he learnt that if he touched the steps, he would be assaulted.
Next, another of the original five was replaced with a new monkey. The newcomer went to the steps and was attacked. The previous newcomer joined in the attack with enthusiasm!
Then, a third monkey was replaced with a new one and then a fourth. Every time a newcomer approached the steps, he was attacked. Most of the monkeys beating him had no idea why they were not allowed to climb the steps or why they were joining in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing the fifth monkey, none of the monkeys had ever been sprayed with water. Still, no monkey ever approached the steps. Why not?
Because as far as they knew it was the way it had always been done around here
........................... And that is how company policy begins.
(Offline Humor, Volume 1, No 3, October 2006, Sent by Rajesh Poddar, Director, Calicut Engg Works Ltd)
The next stage of the experiment was to remove the spray from the cage and to replace one of the monkeys with a new one. Of course, the new monkey saw the banana and went over to climb the steps. To his horror, the other monkeys attacked him. After another attempt, he learnt that if he touched the steps, he would be assaulted.
Next, another of the original five was replaced with a new monkey. The newcomer went to the steps and was attacked. The previous newcomer joined in the attack with enthusiasm!
Then, a third monkey was replaced with a new one and then a fourth. Every time a newcomer approached the steps, he was attacked. Most of the monkeys beating him had no idea why they were not allowed to climb the steps or why they were joining in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing the fifth monkey, none of the monkeys had ever been sprayed with water. Still, no monkey ever approached the steps. Why not?
Because as far as they knew it was the way it had always been done around here
........................... And that is how company policy begins.
(Offline Humor, Volume 1, No 3, October 2006, Sent by Rajesh Poddar, Director, Calicut Engg Works Ltd)
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