Customer Service, Year 2020

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
Operator: "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh... hold..........on...889861356102049998-45-54610"
Operator: "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 M G Road.
Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator: "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator: "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator: "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What? What do you recommend then?"
Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"
Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator: "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily
limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How
long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer: " What!"
Operator: "According to the details in system, you own a
Scooter...registration number 1123..."
Customer: " ????"
Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also
diabetic... "
Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator: "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you
were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"
Customer: (faints.................)
(Sent by Rajesh Poddar, Director, Calicut Engg Works Ltd, Kolkata)

Offline (The Material World Online Management Journal) Volume-4, No- 5, April 2006